Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I cannot find my penis.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
