I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
