So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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