They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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