Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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