just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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