I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
