That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I look better un-naked...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
