i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
