How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
