Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
