you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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