2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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