You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
