Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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