this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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