i just had sex bonerless
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
