I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize