he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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