just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
