he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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