...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
