seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Who died my cat blue again?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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