Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
