NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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