Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
