what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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