I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
