Porn is love you can see.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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