I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
