so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
