Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
