Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
