She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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