is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I see more hoeing in ur future
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