I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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