More tranny stories later!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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