New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
