So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
