Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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