Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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