I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
