Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your cock deserves a montage
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
