but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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