Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
