Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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