Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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