I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.