I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive