My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
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I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
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I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.