I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize