Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
