How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
