Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
