i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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