I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize