Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
