i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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