you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
