I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
