Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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