just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
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Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
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