i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I made him laugh his dick is mine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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