i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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