The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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