i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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