Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
