I just saw a hot homeless man
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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