Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
