well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.