It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober