Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

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  (845): i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen http://tfl.nu/31v4
  Replies (20) Good night (2240) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  her nose should be used as a dorsal fin

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  (404): her nose should be used as a dorsal fin http://tfl.nu/cjiq
  Replies (10) Good night (478) Bad night (2940) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he said i'm too pretty to suck penis

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  (336): he said i'm too pretty to suck penis http://tfl.nu/wzvb
  Replies (99) Good night (13653) Bad night (1636) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?

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  (810): omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is? (1-810): i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen? http://tfl.nu/lnp6
  Replies (17) Good night (3069) Bad night (674)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  this is really not the time to pretend we have morals

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  (704): this is really not the time to pretend we have morals http://tfl.nu/j8ot
  Replies (10) Good night (4720) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary

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  (360): Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary http://tfl.nu/g62g
  Replies (14) Good night (2505) Bad night (3907) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

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  (817): When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. http://tfl.nu/ucur
  Replies (15) Good night (5110) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again

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  (843): We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again http://tfl.nu/w71h
  Replies (23) Good night (856) Bad night (3326) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.

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  (860): So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. http://tfl.nu/xnc4
  Replies (11) Good night (5123) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?

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  (647): he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird? http://tfl.nu/hpqu
  Replies (7) Good night (2939) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?

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  (716): Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle? http://tfl.nu/rwr7
  Replies (17) Good night (1218) Bad night (3106) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what? who is this?

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  (201): Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER. (610): what? who is this? http://tfl.nu/1mp3
  Replies (12) Good night (2458) Bad night (792)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.

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  (905): Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists. http://tfl.nu/ucjm
  Replies (3) Good night (2039) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.

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  (843): God I feel like the rain man of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/3opn
  Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?

  (210): View more from Texas

  Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine

  (830): View more from Texas

  drunken problem solving at its finest

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  (830): Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra? (210): Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine (830): drunken problem solving at its finest http://tfl.nu/2c5e
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (143)

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