One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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