woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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