My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
